I am the honorable flamingo. What you read here might make you smile, make you think, or make you wonder. This is the world as I see it, from the view of a pink, long legged, slightly awkward bird.

Thursday, April 27, 2006

Condoms Lead To Sex, Keep Them Out Of Schools

When I hear about a plan to put condoms in schools, I begin to wonder just what has happened to this country. Now for those of you who say that providing teenagers with condoms doesn't encourage sexual promiscuity, just listen to my bullet proof logic. Giving sexually depraved teens condoms is like giving someone in a fat camp a piece of steak. Now imagine wrapping that steak in a plastic bag...there is no way they can be expected to resist it.

The truth is, if we want to protect our youth, we must keep them from discovering just what sex with a condom is like. If they truly knew how great it was, there would be no stopping them. Babies would not be born to high schoolers at rates that are unprecedented in today's society. HIV protection would be at an all-time high, because kids and condoms would become inseperable. Once condoms are widely available, I fear that they will be upon us. Wild, protected sex in the streets, in cars, in bedrooms, at a moments notice.

But to you parents, I say, do not be afraid. There is still something you can do. You must talk to your teenagers about the dangers of safe sex, and let them know, that under no circumstances are they ever to have sex, at least not until you die. If there is one thing we know, it is that condom availability=more sex (for those of you checking facts and calling me a liar, I suppose I am guilty as charged). But don't worry, I'm sure your adolescent son or daughter has never even thought about sex, let alone considered engaging in it.

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