United States Setting Extraterrestrial Life Standards Too High?

Many people claim to have seen all sorts of alien crafts or alien beings, and some even say that they have been taken aboard the ships and examined, but to this day, the US has not encountered any of these beings in their own habitat. What is the reason for this you ask? Perhaps we are setting our standards too high. Whenever aliens come to earth they always seem to land in places like Alabama, New Mexico or Oklahoma. They also always tend to meet someone who possesses one or more of the following characteristics: straw hat, less than a full set of teeth, a significant underbite, and a 12 gauge shotgun in 3 or more rooms of their house.

After a brief introduction, the aliens generally take their test subject up to the space craft for examination and complimentary anal probe. The subject is almost always nude during this process, which really speaks volumes about aliens, because as humans, these are some of the last people that the general public would like to see naked. After this process is completed, the aliens plant a microchip in the subject, make an incomprehensible pattern in his crops, and off they go, never to be seen again. Aliens are obviously not trying to hard to conceal themselves from us, which makes me wonder why we have yet to be able to find them.

You might think that with all the space probes and such that we send out, we would have encountered something by now, but that is not the case. Aliens are very good hiders, or they are constantly out exploring other planets, and when you look at who they tend to find here, it's really not such a surprise that they don't seem to want to be found by us.

I for one, would like to recommend more space searches for extra terrestrial life. I know that there are some of you who will say that aliens don't exist, but I for one will have to disagree. They are out there, but perhaps we are setting too high of standards for ourselves. We are spending all our time searching for intelligent life, and the aliens are perfectly content with these people: