New HIV Drug Shows Promise

Gilead Sciences Inc. has recently begun testing a drug that could give new hope to people who frequently engage in promiscuous and unprotected sex. The two new pills, Viread and Truvada, will cost $417 and $650 per month, respectively. Like any good drug, the pills will be far to expensive for the average person to buy, let alone the ones who often are most at risk. Even so, many people are excited about the drug, feeling that it could bring back the spirit, and most importantly the wanton sex, of the 60's and 70's.

In a time where people don't always have safe sex, it is important to come up with drugs that will allow them to experiment as they please, without all that pesky responsibility. Gone are the 90's, when Condoman showed us all the importance of wearing our own skin-tight uniform whenever we decided to have sex. This poster effectively debunked the myth that AIDS was only a "white-man's disease", while depicting a superhero in a condom-like suit. Although many hate to see these more traditional values be pushed aside, others feel that these drugs could be just the thing they are looking for. A hotel manager said of the drugs in an interview "As much as I want to make the right choices all of the time, that's not the reality of it." The fact is, people simply don't have the time or the ability to make decisions for themselves anymore, and with no role models like Condoman for young people to look up to, the problem would only get worse were it not for the drug industry.

Despite all the skepticism, the National Association for the Betterment of Prostitutes (NABP) has given their full endorsement to the new drugs. A spokeswhore for the group said that the drug has the potential to increase the life expectancy of prostitutes everywhere. If the drug companies play their cards right, these new drugs could replace crack cocaine for the average harlot. The first three shipments of the drugs are scheduled to go to Las Vegas, Africa, and San Francisco.