My Solution To The Illegal Immigrant Problem

I would like to take a break from my normally foolish posts to write about something that has been in the news a lot lately: the immigration debate. The big question is whether or not we should let people who are already here illegally earn legal status. Currently there are about 11 million illegal immigrants in our country, many of whom are simply looking for the peace of mind that only picking fruit and earning low wages can provide. So I say, let them gain their legal status, but perhaps we should find something for them to do in the mean time. This idea is the crux of my post. I vote for a simple solution, one that will allow the immigrants to earn their legality, and I do mean earn it. I say that for 6 years, illegal immigrants should have to spend 8 hours per day working on human hamster wheels.

That's right, I said human hamster wheels. Now, this may sound a bit far-fetched, but imagine the possibilities. We could hook the wheels up to small generators and provide power for so many people. We would cut energy costs by a tremendous amount, in a time where energy is certainly at a premium. This program would also serve as a deterant to other immigrants who might be thinking about coming to the US. Note the picture on the right. This is a man that in a couple of weeks will be scrambling to get back across the border, or at the very least back to his job as a Wal-Mart janitor.