I am the honorable flamingo. What you read here might make you smile, make you think, or make you wonder. This is the world as I see it, from the view of a pink, long legged, slightly awkward bird.

Wednesday, May 31, 2006

You Thought Your Job Was Stressful

Oftentimes, we look at the amount of stress our own jobs place on us, and we feel a little overwhelmed, but I now realize that I have it easy. One person in the world that almost certainly has a more stressful job than I? The Pope. Imagine being put in charge of just over 1 Billion people. He is the most powerful boss in the world, and is expected to keep track of everyone, all without looking like a complete jerk. Not easy if you ask me.

If being the Prince of the Apostles and the Vicar of Christ isn't enough pressure to deal with, try being the infallible when it comes to questions of religion and morals. Getting a little hot under the mitre are you? It isn't easy being nearly perfect, and just imagine, if the Catholics screw up under your watch, who do you think God will be coming after.

But I suppose being the Pope isn't all bad. After, since Catholic doctrine says that the Roman Church is above all other churches, you would be the leader of the number one church in the world. On top of that, you have your own city, which is possibly the coolest thing I have ever heard of.

But if you have decided that you would some day like to be Pope, not so fast. The office is gained only through election by God. Well, either that or a group of high ranking Bishops, whichever is easier to get ahold of (God is very busy, especially on weekends). However, if this doesn't really suit you, with enough money you can always buy the position (see the Borgia family), or father illegitimate children (see Pope Paul III, Pope Alexander VI, Pope Pius IV...). But don't let this stop you, and if you are fortunate enough to become Pope, remember this advice: Nothing tells people who question your authority to shut the hell up like a leather-bound copy of the Dogmatic Constitution.


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