I am the honorable flamingo. What you read here might make you smile, make you think, or make you wonder. This is the world as I see it, from the view of a pink, long legged, slightly awkward bird.

Monday, May 08, 2006

Depressed Muslims Targeted As Potential Suicide Bombers

It is quickly becoming harder and harder for extremist Muslim groups to find happy young men willing to be involved in suicide bombing. For that reason, many terrorist groups have begun searching for men with a bleaker perspective, hoping they would be more receptive to the idea of blowing themselves up in a crowded area. According to a recent gallup poll, many suicidal people felt that suicide bombing was a great way to "go out with a bang", and over 50% said that they felt that they would be more likely to be remembered after a suicide bombing as opposed to more "mundane" forms of self-destruction.

Much of the concern has come in recent times, when many Muslims with otherwise impecable suicide credentials seem to be interested in other things. In a statement released late Saturday evening, a spokesman wrote: "Many potential candidates seem to be less than overjoyed at the prospect of becoming martyrs. Instead they say that they feel a desire to 'raise a family', or, 'better themselves'. Some even said that they didn't believe women should have to be fully veiled every time they leave their house." He then added, "Just kidding about that last part."

One of the other disputes has been over the question of the 72 virgins that each Muslim is to receive upon their arrival in heaven. Many young men have expressed concern about the state of these women. One man had this to say: "Honestly, I'm not sure it is such a good thing after all, I mean, if they are still virgins now, how attractive could they really be. I don't want to end up staring at a 6 dozen Roseanne's after I kill myself."

While many remain hopeful, some say that modern Muslims may be too optimistic about life to remain fully dedicated to the Jihad. "It is unbelievable how few people are willing to put their lives on the line for just one day" said one respondant to the poll. "It is just pure selfishness."

5 comments:

Wren said...

Looks like some of the cell leaders need to get out there and set an example and show em how it's done. Preferably at a terrorist convention.

And hey, Flamingo, thanks for adding me to your blogs of note. I'm honored.

BaconEating AtheistJew said...

In Israel Palestinians have used a retarded boy at least once, and if you haven't seen it already, check this out.

Did she try to blow up the hospital because of oppression? Not quite.

The Flamingo said...

I had heard about that, although I don't think it was from your article. My article was written for that reason: no one is off limits, and the ends always justify the means for these extremist groups. They use indoctrination from birth, and encourage people to be martytrs, and also strap explosives to anyone who will stay still for 30 seconds. All in the name of religion.

mikevotes said...

I don't want to be crass, I'm trying to draw a real parallel, but you could argue that the school shooters in the US are a form of suicide bombers.

Their goals are more localized, but the psychological component is the same. Almost all of them expect to kill themselves in the end.

Mike

The Flamingo said...

I think that the difference there is the religious component. Suicide bombers are revered in these societies, and people are brought up to believe that this is one of the greatest ways to serve Allah. In fact, becoming a martyr is the closest you can get to Allah in that culture.

I have no doubt that most school shooters intend not to get out alive, but I think that their reasons for doing it are different, and they are the ones doing it themselves. The point of this article was that often the extremists will prey on those who are most vulnerable. Check out the link from BEAJ to see more about that.