R. Kelly Sex Tape To Be Shown To Public

Judge Vincent Gaughan announced earlier this week that, despite requests from prosecutors and defense attorneys alike, he is going to allow the public and the media to view the sex tape that allegedly shows singer R. Kelly committing lewd sex acts with a 13 year old girl. The judge cited that there was no "overarching interest" in keeping the public from viewing the tape. He said that not allowing the public to see the key piece of evidence could result in an unfair trial for Kelly. When reminded that the tape contained video of a 13 year old girl in embarrassing and sexually degrading acts, the judge replied "huh?" But imagine the joy of Chicago pedophiles, upon hearing that instead of having to work so hard to hide their child pornography collections from the authorities, the authorities were going to bring child pornography right to them...LEGALLY!

Based on the belief that a fair trial is impossible without showing complete disregard for the victim, I have another suggestion for the court. Why not have each jury member and the judge take turns urinating on the girl, who is now 21? They certainly won't be prejudice if they each have committed one of the very same acts. This is sure to create a much more fair trial. In fact, why not have a public urination? Put each member of the public in Kelly's place, let them feel the pain of the true victim. It is only fair after all.

So what does this mean for the general public? What does it mean for a 21 year old woman who most likely wants nothing more than to get on with her life? I'm not really sure, but in a city known for its corrupt judges, Gaughan has just raised the bar. So let's all rush to Chicago for a public viewing of child pornography, not to mention their 2-for-1 sale on idiots.