I am the honorable flamingo. What you read here might make you smile, make you think, or make you wonder. This is the world as I see it, from the view of a pink, long legged, slightly awkward bird.

Friday, January 26, 2007

President Celebrates 74% Approval Rating In Heaven

While President George W. Bush has been subject to criticism recently, his administration points to the recent 2006 census in the Kingdom of God to prove that his policies are on the right track.

The newest statistics to come out of Paradise have left some of the most highly regarded political scientists confounded. They show that more than 74% of Heaven's eternal population approve of the job the President Bush is doing, and a whopping 89% support the war in Iraq.

These numbers come right on the heels of an overwhelming victory for Proposition 1,845,345,384, a Kindgom-wide referendum officially banning homosexual marriage. Next week, the legislature is expected to officially pass an amendment defining marriage as "between one man and one woman".

Press Secretary Tony Snow lauded the results, saying that they confirm the legitimacy of the Presidents actions. He also mentioned that Heaven is currently on the path towards democracy, and described it as a "shining beacon on a hill", and an example for Iraq. He later remarked that the President has always considered Paradise an important part of the Coalition of the Willing.

The Blessed Census also revealed that Heaven is entirely Christian, about 76% Republican, and the vast majority support the use of the death penalty. In the past 10 years, the population of heaven has grown .04% to 26 total people.

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