I am the honorable flamingo. What you read here might make you smile, make you think, or make you wonder. This is the world as I see it, from the view of a pink, long legged, slightly awkward bird.

Friday, October 20, 2006

What Countries Are Really Doing In The UN General Assembly

Being that there are now 192 nations involved in the UN, thought it would be interesting to find out what some of them really do during the meeting of the general assembly. It is through eavesdropping, tireless research, and immoral sexual favors that I have composed this list.

Bahrain- When this country isn't having little to no effect on United Nations policy, it is trading its vote to any country with more than a million people and enough time to at least smile and nod when it passes them in the hallway. To be fair, the President of the General Assembly for 2006 is from Bahrain, but then again I've never heard of her and neither have you.

Venezuela- The Venezuelans sit under the name of the "Bolivarian Republic of Venezuela", probably just so they can get a better seat in the alphabetical system. They spend most of their time photoshopping pictures in order to make it look like George Bush is kissing other men or, a personal favorite of President Chavez's, giving a wrap-around to Satan himself.

East Timor- East Timor has the lowest per capita GDP in the world, and a total of about 370 million, or about half of President Bush's Christmas Club account. This country can usually be seen playing pranks on the other nations in the General Assembly, and I hear one of their favorites is the blowgun tranquilizer dart to the throat, always a crowd favorite.

Kyrgyzstan- This country spends the biggest part of its time in the UN asking Papua New Guinea if it can borrow some vowels from its name, and swearing it will return them. Apart from that, this country can often be seen doing crossword puzzles and pretending to talk on the phone in order to make people think they are important.

If the United Nations were a giant box of strawberries, most of the countries would be the ones at the bottom, that get soft and moldy no matter how fast you eat them. With that said, I leave you with this picture of the knotted gun that stands outside the UN building in New York. It is a glorius symbol of peace, and also a great metaphor for the effectiveness of the institution itself.

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